A couple weeks ago you turned 1 year old. One entire year has already gone by. I still can't believe it. This past year has been the most joyful, amazing, beautiful, exhausting, questioning, mind-blowing, frustrating, BEST year of my life. Being your mom is my favorite thing. You make it so easy, even when it's hard. I have watched you transform from this tiny, helpless baby who relied on me for every need into this beautiful, willful, decisive, sassy, funny, loving toddler. You have a strong, but loving spirit already. You absolutely know what you want and what you don't (and have no problem letting us know). Walking was the best thing to happen to you. You love exploring new places and are very much a people watcher. You are always aware of your surroundings and your little eyes take in every detail. I love to watch the wheels turning in your brain. I hope you always have that inquisitive nature and always ask questions. This is how we learn- don't let anyone tell you different. You love hugs and giving kisses. You have an infectious laugh and smile all the time.
But you aren't the only one who has transformed this year. You have transformed me. You have taught me to be more patient, more graceful, more intentional. You have given me the ability to love more than I thought possible. I look back on those first few months and remember all the questions and uncertainty. I remember the hours and hours spent online looking up everything. And now I see that somewhere along the way, I gained confidence in myself as your mom. I didn't have to spend hours online before I made every single decision. Eventually I knew you well enough to know when something was wrong. When something was working or something wasn't. I trusted myself and understood that it wasn't the end of the world if I picked you up and held you when you woke in the middle of the night instead of the recommended "pat and leave". I learned that not everything is going to happen according to plan and that that's ok. I'm only a year in so I'm in no way a parenting expert (is anyone ever really?) and am still learning every day, but I can see the confidence God has allowed me as your mom. After all, He chose me specifically for you so why doubt that I'm exactly who you need me to be?
Almost every single night, since our first night home from the hospital, I have sang you to sleep. I have sang the chorus to the same song every night. As I sing, I pray these words and more over your life.
"I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things.
I'm here for you whatever this life brings.
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings."
I pray that you always work hard for your dreams. I pray that you have a strong faith and love for God and that that is what guides you. I pray that you always have courage to do what's right and to take risks. I pray that you always know that I will always be here for you and that I love you unconditionally. And that more importantly, so does God. I pray that through this love you find strength and guidance. I pray that you always keep your eyes on God and that you let Him direct your life. And I pray that I continue to grow and transform into the mom I need to be to allow all of those things. I am so incredibly proud to be your mom. I love you most most most.
Love,
Momma
